It’s been awhile. 5 months to be exact. How? Why? I guess it’s because sometimes I get caught up in being a perfectionist. There are seasons that I go through that I have such a high emphasis on making all my work perfect that I stop writing completely. None of my thoughts seem good enough. Can you relate?
“If you were blind, you would have no guilt; but now that you say ‘We see’, your guilt remains.” (John 9:41). In a very Pharisee like manner, whenever I read Jesus’ words to the Pharisees I tend to zone out because I’m a perfect Christian. None of this applicable to me. That’s exactly the kind of attitude that Jesus is addressing here. The kind of people who are broken, in need of healing, but don’t accept any help because they’re so convinced that they have their life together. It’s like a person with an infectious disease who says, “I’m fine. I don’t feel sick.”, then proceeds to endanger himself and those around him.
I read this today and was struck by just how often I take this attitude. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable because being vulnerable means that I have to admit to myself and those around me that I’m not perfect. That I make mistakes. That I’m *gasp* human. Especially since this year I’m in a leadership position at my school and with leadership positions come a weight of responsibility. However, in order to be a responsible leader, I have to allow myself to share. To seek wise council. To confess when I make mistakes. To acknowledge my humanity. To seek God’s face humbly because I can’t see. Last night at Unchapel, I felt like the Lord said that He placed blinders on my eyes so I won’t be distracted and will only see what He wants me to see. But, in order to see what the Lord wants me to see, I have to spend time with Him. I have to spend time in His word. I have to be obedient to the sound of His voice, even if it means that I’m in a boat in a storm and I can’t see any rainbows. Because God is faithful. In the words of Rev. Sara Carrara Di Fuccia,
“God does not ever command apart from his nature of love and redemption. God’s purpose will always be to establish God’s kingdom on earth and to establish intimacy with man.”
God doesn’t leave us in the unknown because He is has a superiority complex and wants us to feel inferior. On the contrary, He wants us to acknowledge that we can’t see so that we can rely on Him to be our eyes. When we rely on Him to be our eyes, to reveal things to us in His good timing, we are able to experience his nature of love and redemption. We are able to experience a deeper intimacy with Him than had we tried to figure out things on our own.
I hope this was encouraging to you,